The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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