i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
