we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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