fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize