Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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