I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
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I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC