If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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