I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
