when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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