no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
