Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
