pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Congratulations! We have a period
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
