haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
