Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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