I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
