apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
