Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
