Can Purell be used as lube?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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