So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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