No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
