Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
