I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
