Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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