You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
