i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
