he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
