: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
