he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
