Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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