is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My butt remains clenched, sir.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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