Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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