What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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