nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize