I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
