im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he was CRYING into my vagina
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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