A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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