Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize