were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you had me at cake vodka
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
