I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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