There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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