hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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