his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
