He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
