I wish i was in the wii world.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
