Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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