You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
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Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
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"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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