I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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