I have demons in me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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