i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
