The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize