if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize