My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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