i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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