wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
