I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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