end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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