Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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