i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
