yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
