I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
