And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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